Our Marriage Today, After The Affair
I never thought I was say this, but my husband and I are stronger than ever. The affair was a while ago, but it seems like decades ago. Unbelievably to me, I can now look back on it as a difficult situation we got through together like when my son was first diagnosed with epilepsy or when my grandfather died.Yes, it was difficult and awful and I would never want to repeat it, but we are stronger as the result and the equality in our marriage is much more present.
I was really able to incorporate what I learned and went back to college and earned my degree. I am now a successful business owner, earn my own money, and feel that I am a complete equal in this marriage. My husband respects me and is proud of me.
I no longer fear I am not good enough. I know I am. There was one website that really helped me regain my self esteem as a woman. It was recommended to me by a woman on a forum who used it to help lure her husband back from his mistress. It is called “Her Secrets.net – Seduction Secrets For Irresistible Women.” I know it sounds silly, but what I learned has really put the passion and spark back in my marriage. Maybe I’m just fooling myself, I am no longer worried my husband will go elsewhere, I will put it that way. I am able to have fulfilling sex with my husband and look him right in the eyes and know he both desires and loves me. This is something I cherish and no longer take for granted.
I was not open to any of this until I was able to heal, but once I did, I really wanted to regain my self esteem as a woman. This book helped me to uncover the confident woman inside me and it teaches you how to develop that intangible “it” that draws men in (I believe many husbands believe the mistress has this “it,” and I wanted to ensure that I had it, so my husband didn’t need to look elsewhere. I was lucky. Once I found out, my husband had no problems with dropping her, but this book also really helps women lure back husbands, for whatever reason, have problems letting the mistress go.
I now understand why the affair happened and work every day to ensure that it doesn’t again. I now understand that to affair proof your marriage, you understand and take care of emotional, psychological, and physical needs of BOTH parties (you too – if your needs aren’t met, you won’t have anything genuine to give your husband. You must be fulfilled and happy to be able to give this to someone else.
Again, by no means am I an expert. I’m just someone who can make no guarantees. (Please read the disclosures and terms if you have questions about this. But, if I’m looking back on what helped me, the best advice that I can give is don’t allow this to eat you alive. Don’t sit there and doubt or stew or question yourself. Don’t allow it to make you doubt yourself or take what is very dear to you. I know that some days you will feel like crawling in a hole. But, you have to turn on the lights and face it. Doing so is the only way to make it go away and ensure that your marriage is stronger as a result.
If a counselor doesn’t work well for you, find a new one try something else until something helps you.
Be proactive, don’t be afraid to take an honest look at what is going on and be willing to do the work needed to fix it.
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